I am a Year 6 student at Edmund Hillary School in Auckland, NZ. I am in Room 9 and my teacher is Roya. This is a place where I will share my learning. Please note that some of it will not be complete, it will be my first draft. Remember to be positive, thoughtful and helpful when you leave me a comment.
Kia ora Aryan, you have definitely written more of a narrative rather than descriptive writing. I enjoyed how you described the sunset. Next time I suggest focusing more on your senses - what could you see, hear and feel if you were actually there in the picture?
HI Aryan, i am Donald J Trump former president of the United states of American. i like your writing about Anzac day. Your new president of new Zealand Donald J Lump .
Please structure your comments as follows: Positive - Something done well Thoughtful - A sentence to let us know you actually read/watched or listened to what they had to say Helpful - Give some ideas for next time or ask a question you want to know more about
Kia ora Aryan, you have definitely written more of a narrative rather than descriptive writing. I enjoyed how you described the sunset. Next time I suggest focusing more on your senses - what could you see, hear and feel if you were actually there in the picture?
ReplyDeleteHI Aryan, i am Donald J Trump former president of the United states of American. i like your writing about Anzac day. Your new president of new Zealand Donald J Lump .
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